Top 5 people you need in your tribe

TOP 5 PEOPLE YOU NEED IN YOUR TRIBE

They say all of us are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. According to the theory, if you look around at your closest crew, chances are good that your life reflects the average of those people — how much money you make, the type of neighborhood you live in, how you communicate, even how you see the world.

I dug into the research, and there’s pretty clear evidence that your tribe is an exceptionally powerful influence in who you are, the decisions you make, and what you achieve.

What people seem to forget is that you can choose who your tribe is. Your circle of influence can – and should – change and evolve and mature as you change and evolve and mature.

In general, we’re a bunch of hoarders. We have a hard time letting go and moving forward. We tend to lack the self-awareness that’s required to recognize when something or someone has served its purpose (or when we’ve served our purpose for someone else). We aren’t comfortable when we recognize that it’s time to offer up a moment of gratitude for what something or someone has contributed to our lives, and let it go.

But, more often than not – especially in our professional lives – we can choose who our Fabulous Five are. In fact, one of the most important and impactful things you can do is choose.

When I think about my own tribe, these are the folks I usually seek out.

Leaders
These are the people who seem to have been naturally born to lead. They exude confidence and poise, they have decision-making prowess, and an exceptionally strong hold on their emotions. They have a seemingly innate ability to respond to any situation with the perfect combination of grace, assertiveness, and intelligence. These are the people I watch like a hawk, soaking up everything they do like a sponge. They are who I aspire to be.

Devil’s Advocates
I hate these people. But, that’s precisely why I need them. These are the folks whose job is to challenge your ideas and decisions and ask you to look at the world from a different angle. They can back you into a corner, and force you to defend your position.

But … and listen carefully because this is important … these people challenge you from a place of support and encouragement. Don’t confuse the Devil’s Advocate with the energy-sucking Negative Nelly.  The Devil’s Advocate doesn’t take it personally if you challenge them right back; they simply want to make sure you’ve thought it through, that all the holes are plugged, and that you’re ready to face any obstacles to achieve your goals.

Creatives
Artists see the world in an entirely different way than the rest of us. No matter if they’re designers, writers, builders, or inventors, their natural habitat tends to be outside the box. Because of the creatives in my life, I’ve been able to solve complex problems with seemingly simple and elegant solutions and be inspired to see the world from a completely different perspective.

Self-Made Success Stories
If you want a crash course in perseverance, bootstrapping, and creative problem-solving, find people who scraped their way from the bottom to the top. Understand how to learn from others’ successes and failures. These are the people who’ve “been there, done that,” and can be one of your greatest sources of inspiration and motivation. They know the struggles you’re facing, and are there to assure you that “you can do this!”

Rookies
I guarantee that for every person you admire, there’s someone in the wings looking up to you. So pay it forward. It’s our responsibility as achievers to encourage and support the next people in line to strive for their goals. It not only helps you hone your leadership and advisory skills, it inspires the next generation of innovators and creators to keep the crazy train moving forward.

As you think about your own tribe, a little self-awareness goes a long way. None of us live in a vacuum, so take the time to really understand who you are, who you want to be, what you’d like to improve, what wisdom you can share, and choose a team to get you there.