I was happy to flip the calendar to 2020 this year.
I’m usually not one to wish time away but, in my little corner of the world, 2019 wasn’t super awesome. Lots of unexpected stress, quite a few unplanned-for challenges, and some heartburn-inducing setbacks were the perfect recipe to give my typically positive outlook a real beating.
Challenging times are simply a part of life, so it’s no shocker to any of us. When it rains it pours, and the law of attraction kicks in — the more you focus on the negative, the more the negative hunts you down for more. Then toss in a healthy dose of inertia, and you’re in motion … but you’re moving at a pretty good clip in the wrong direction, diving down rabbit holes of anxiety, frustration, and fear.
Before you know it, everything you’re doing is focused on playing not to lose, instead of playing to win.
As business owners, we try to pull ourselves out of the mental muck by doing things to help get our headspace back to where it belongs – exercising, reconnecting with people, reading more, meditating, practicing gratitude, journaling, whatever.
But, it still feels like we’re using a spoon to get water out of a sinking ship.
Then I had an epiphany.
I’m a fan of the addictive game Candy Crush. I sometimes bust out my phone and play a few levels when there’s a commercial break on TV, or if I’m in the waiting room of the doctor’s office, or want a 10-minute break as I’m working through lunch.
If you aren’t familiar with it, it’s basically a matching game where you swap little candies on a gameboard to make three or more candies in a row.
But, that’s not important.
What’s important is that, as part of the game, you earn little “boosters” to make the game a little easier and move you to the next level a little faster.
Some players probably hoard all their little booster candies, afraid to use them just in case they might need them for the proverbial rainy day. They’re afraid that when they hit a level that’s marked “nightmarishly hard,” they’ll desperately need a crap-ton of these extra little boosters just to get them through.
Not me, though. I use the booster candies pretty quickly after I earn them. Why? Because I know more boosters are coming.
More boosters are always coming.
Sure, it may take a few levels to earn them. And I may be stuck on a particularly annoying level for a little while (where a few boosters would be helpful), but I never worry about it. Mostly because A.) it’s just a dumb game and who cares, but also B.) …
Because I know more boosters are always coming.
In life, this hasn’t been my M.O. lately. I’ve found myself pretty anxious about if I do/spend/move on a particular action or thing right now, the same resources I need to do that action or thing won’t be available to me later.
As a result, I’ve been hesitating before I put forth too much time, money, energy, or attention toward something until I know, for absolutely sure, I can gain back more time, money, energy, or attention.
Which, as I was thinking about how I play Candy Crush, is absolutely absurd. It’s ridiculous that this particular limiting belief unexpectedly became part of my mental repertoire.
There will always be more ideas and solutions that will present themselves. There will always be opportunities to make more money. There will always be more occasions to take on something bigger and better. There will always be ways to increase and improve my energy and focus.
Sure, I may need to “play a few levels” to earn these things, but they will always come. Because they always do.
Rationally, I know all of this. (I think most business owners do.) But, limiting beliefs are irritatingly tricky that way; they sneak into your subconscious when you aren’t paying attention or are feeling especially vulnerable, and trigger habitual fear-based responses that aren’t good for you or anyone else.
I encourage you to think about your limiting beliefs, and do the work to break free from what’s mentally holding you back. A teeny bit of Googling will bring up a boatload of articles, TED talks, books and blogs about recognizing and overcoming those pesky limiting beliefs.
Figure out what your limiting beliefs are, and start where your instincts tell you to upgrade your thinking. It could be reading a few affirmations every day, revamping your morning routine, working with a coach, connecting with a mentor, or simply learning how to be more aware of your brain chatter.
For me, I’m re-learning to trust what’s been proven time and time and again …
More boosters are always coming.